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The Art of Intentional Living: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Welcome to a powerful exploration of what it means to live with intention, discover your true self, and step into the greatness you were designed for. In this blog post, we’ll break down the themes and stories shared in the enlightening conversation between Ken Primus and Diana—two souls deeply invested in helping others find freedom, meaning, and joy. This is a journey that goes far beyond surface-level self-improvement. It’s about rewriting the stories we’ve told ourselves, embracing gratitude, taking responsibility, and serving others.
Let’s dive in, step by step, into the art of intentional living.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Breaking Limits and Writing Your Story
“We hold ourselves back because somebody said something to us, somewhere, somehow, someday, that said we couldn’t do something or it couldn’t be done…Once Roger Bannister broke [the four-minute mile], look how many other people have broken it. Somebody has to go ahead.”
From the very start, the central theme is clear: too often, we let old stories and someone else’s beliefs hold us back from stepping into the life we were meant to live. The analogy of the four-minute mile, a barrier once thought unbreakable, reminds us that the impossible becomes possible once someone is bold enough to try.
What story are you living? Whose pen is writing it?
Honoring the Journey: Time and Experience
Ken welcomes Diana with deep respect, pointing out the two most precious gifts any of us have: our time and our life journey.
“Their time—24 hours—has been offered to every single man and woman on this planet. What we do with our time will speak volumes of who you are.”
Time is our universal currency. How we invest it shapes our legacy.
How Diana Serves: Adding Value and Making a Difference
Diana shares the life exercise that changed everything for her: writing her own eulogy.
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She realized she wanted to be known for adding value and making a difference—wherever she went.
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To keep this intention alive daily, she sets two reminders on her phone:
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7:00 am: “What will you do today to add value to others?”
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7:00 pm: “What did you do today to add value to others?”
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This simple act keeps her accountable and intentional.
Takeaway: If you don’t know what you want to be known for, how will the world ever know?
“I’ve got to program my own brain, program my own life, and be intentional about my life. I’m responsible for my life. Nobody else is.”
Becoming the Author of Your Life
We often let others craft our stories. Diana warns that if you give away the pen to someone else, they’ll write a story that serves them—not you.
Signs You’re Not the Author of Your Own Life
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You live by default, not by design.
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You ask others to decide for you.
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You let mediocrity seep in, listen to limiting beliefs, and let self-doubt call the shots.
Rewrite your story. Step into the role as both author and hero.
From First Steps to Big Leaps: Diana’s Real Estate Story
Diana’s journey in real estate is a case study in courage and resourcefulness.
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She got her real estate license by winning an auction on PBS at 2am for $50, while sitting up with a sick child.
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She was turned down by 11 offices—told it was a “man’s world” or that they already had a woman realtor.
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She kept going and finally got a “yes” at the 12th office.
With no money for a babysitter, she put her kids in a red Radio Flyer wagon and went door-to-door.
“I realized that I wasn’t really selling real estate. I was selling dreams.”
She listened deeply to her neighbors, discovered their wish for a grocery store, and—whether by luck or providence—one appeared soon after. Her work and engagement made people believe she was responsible!
Results
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The average realtor in her area sold 5 homes a year.
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Diana sold 104 homes her first year.
The Four-Minute Mile and Breaking Through Limits
Her secret? Nobody ever told her she couldn’t.
“Sometimes we hold ourselves back because somebody said…we couldn’t do something…Why?”
The four-minute mile is an analogy. Once Bannister did it, people saw it was possible—and many followed. We spend so much time focusing on our limits because someone told us about them. What if you decided differently?
Victim, Villain, or Hero? Choosing Your Role
Every story has these roles:
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Victim: “Life happens to me.”
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Villain: “I must push, fight, achieve—do more and more.”
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Hero: “I take responsibility. I choose what I believe, how I act, and claim the life I want.”
“It’s a whole lot more fun playing the hero than those other two things.”
We all play each role at some point. The key is realizing you have a choice.
Jeremy Brown’s Home Run—and Ours
Story Time: Jeremy Brown was a baseball player teased about his weight—told he’d never get beyond first base. He believed it, and his whole life played out that story. On one special day, he resolved to prove the world wrong. He hit the ball, rounded first, and—struck by limiting beliefs—returned to first, tripping and crawling back, thinking he’d never make it further. The crowd laughed, but he didn’t realize he’d hit a home run.
How many home runs are you missing because you’re stuck at first base, clutching an old, limiting story?
“If you can’t take a stand for your greatness, let me take a stand for your greatness. Borrow my belief in you…until you can get your own.”
Self-Love: The Foundation for Everything
You can’t love others or live well until you learn to love yourself.
“If we don’t love ourselves, how can we love anybody else? I think that’s the main piece that we are missing.”
We are often programmed by others—from a young age—to believe we are “too much” or “not enough.” The journey to self-love is tough but crucial. Crises can be a gift, shaking us out of autopilot and forcing us to ask:
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Who am I?
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Why am I here?
When we love ourselves, things change. We stop letting others’ words define us. We start to see our unique value and treat others with the same respect and reverence.
Finding Your North Star
Diana was in her 30s when she wrote her own eulogy as a way to clarify her North Star. What keeps you moving, even when exhausted? That’s your North Star.
How to Find It:
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Go inside.
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Excavate your beliefs.
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Do the work.
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Be a disciple of your own self-discovery.
“A disciple does the work. Get in there, find out what is your North Star, and you will see how life and how the world…changes.”
Layered Learning: How Growth Really Happens
We don’t change overnight. We learn in layers.
Diana shares how, even as a child, she learned about the brain watching her brother recover from multiple surgeries. He relearned to walk and talk by retraining his mind—over and over.
John Maxwell, Diana’s mentor, called this “layered learning”—growth upon growth upon growth.
Rewiring the Brain—Patterns, Paths, and Gratitude
Thought patterns are like paths in grass. Walk the same thought over and over, and a clear rut forms—it becomes the easy, default path. Our brains are built for easy, so unless we change our thoughts, nothing changes.
But the good news: If you stop using an old path, the grass grows back. You can choose new thoughts and new patterns.
“Nerve cells that fire together, wire together. Neuroscience also tells us…the greatest part…is that nerve cells that no longer fire together no longer wire together.”
The Healing Power of Gratitude
Five things a day—write them down. Hot water, a towel, a good meal, a warm bed, a friend. When you feel gratitude, the part of your brain responsible for joy and creativity lights up. Gratitude changes your state of being.
You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have
Before you can offer love, joy, or knowledge to others, you have to fill yourself with it first.
“If we don’t have joy in our heart, how can we have joy with other people? And it all starts with our thoughts.”
Illustration:During the Berlin Wall era, East Germans dumped garbage into West German streets. West Germans responded with gifts of food and supplies, writing, “Each gives what they have.” What are you giving to the world?
The Power of Words: Changing Your Story
Diana’s coaching is rooted in the belief that words shape reality. Swap “I’m devastated” for “I’m working through it.” Exchange “I’m frustrated” for “I’m fascinated.” Your brain listens to every word you say.
Changing Your Mantra:Mantras were important even in the Bible—Abraham’s name itself was a daily mantra: “father of many nations.”
What are you calling yourself today?
From Tragedy to Triumph: Diana’s Fall and Rise
It’s tempting to look at Diana’s success and think it was easy. Far from it.
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She built a thriving real estate business—four offices, property management, significant income.
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She trusted a friend to handle finances, but discovered massive embezzlement.
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Her car was repossessed in front of colleagues. She lost her offices and had to start all over, repaying everyone—without going bankrupt.
She owned her hardship and rebuilt from scratch. That experience gave her humility and a depth of insight money can’t buy.
“If you’re not willing to fail, you’ll never succeed. It’s a part of the journey.”
Serving Others: Moving from Success to Significance
As Diana rebuilt her life, she discovered that service brings greater rewards than success alone.
Volunteering—even when you’re busy or struggling—feeds your soul, floods your system with good chemistry, lifts your spirit.
“When we’re in the service of other people, we’re actually feeding our bodies full of really good chemicals.”
If you’re down, be of service. Volunteer, and the darkness lifts.
Raising the Next Generation With Intention
Ken shares his family philosophy: the phrase “I can’t” was forbidden in his house. Instead, his children learned to say, “At this time, I don’t have the information that is necessary—but I will do the work to get it.”
Diana and Ken both have spent years teaching values to children, believing it’s easier to raise boys than to change men.
Final Words: Your World Can Change
Diana’s message to the world is simple and powerful:
“It does not matter your achievements, doesn’t matter where you are. There’s always more. There’s more to be, more to do, more to have, and a lot more to give. And we can change.”
Your body is already constantly renewing itself. So can your mind. Add one word—“now”—to describe yourself. “This is who I am now. It is not who I will be tomorrow.”
“Go for the change, because you got it in you.”
Life Application: Steps and Mantras to Start Today
Pulling lessons from Ken and Diana’s wisdom, here’s how to start your own journey of intentional living.
1. Write Your Own Eulogy
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What do you want to be known for?
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Let that clarity steer your daily actions.
2. Start and End Each Day with a Mantra
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Morning: “What will I do today to add value to others?”
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Evening: “What did I do today to add value to others?”
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Or your own, such as: “I am becoming more every day.”
3. Practice Layered Gratitude
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Every morning and night, list five things you’re grateful for.
4. Serve Others—Especially When You’re Down
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Volunteer your time. The act of serving shifts your mindset and energizes your spirit.
5. Break Limiting Patterns
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Notice old paths your thoughts take.
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When negative thoughts come, pause and intentionally choose a new response.
6. Take Responsibility
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No more blaming. Own your life. If you need to borrow belief, lean on someone who will believe in you.
7. Find Your North Star
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Reflect. Meditate. Write. Discover what makes you come alive, even when life is tough.
8. Speak Carefully
“When you are speaking, be very mindful because you are listening, and you will believe it faster if you’re mimicking what your mother and your father has said to you. Go and find what you know…”
Choose your words with intention. They shape your reality.
9. Move from Success to Significance
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As you grow, use your platform to lift others. There’s more joy in significance than in raw success.
10. Add “Now”
Describe yourself with the understanding that you are always growing. Not “This is the way I am.” Say, “This is the way I am now.”
Conclusion: You Are Creative, You Are Changing the World
Life is a story you write, a path you walk, a creation you shape with time, love, and intention. Choose your parts wisely. Be the hero, the author, the champion. The world changes the day you decide you’re worth it.
“You can change your world and your family and your neighborhood just because you are looking at yourself and changing yourself.”
Resources & Next Steps
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Diana’s Book: Becoming More: You Can’t Get to Better Until You Get to Different (link in podcast show notes)
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John Maxwell resources on leadership and intentional living
If you were inspired by this journey, share this post with a friend. Start a gratitude journal tonight. Above all, begin your own intentional journey today.
Stay Enlightened.
YouTube Interview:
https://youtu.be/QB08-a7moYc
I strongly encourage everyone to follow her, buy her books, listen to her Podcast, and be transformed by her insights.
Everyone has a story, and this is her story.
Below is a list of the sites that house her works.
https://diannak.com/
www.youtube.com/@BecomingMoreDiannaK
linkedin.com/in/diannakokoszka
facebook.com/diannakokoszka
instagram.com/dianna.kokoszka
tiktok.com/@dianna.kokoszka
Listen to her Podcast: Becoming More with Dianna Kokoszka
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/becoming-more-with-dianna-kokoszka/id1732112281https://open.spotify.com/show/2UzdSQ6z3IJH3H8w9CRgqW
