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The Secret to Overcoming Life’s Chaos 🌟
Welcome to a journey through chaos, kindness, and self-discovery—drawn from the deeply honest and inspiring episode of Threads of Enlightenment with host Ken Primus and special guest Steve Huff. This episode is not just a conversation; it’s a roadmap for anyone who feels tossed about by life’s changes and challenges, searching for the strength, mindset, and tools to not only survive, but thrive.
Whether you’re dealing with personal turmoil, career upheaval, or the turbulence of uncertain times, “The Secret to Overcoming Life’s Chaos” invites you to explore wisdom born from lived experience. Dive in as we unpack their stories, frameworks, and candid advice—delivered in the same warm, welcoming, down-to-earth style that has made this podcast a beacon for anyone on the path of self-development.
Table of Contents
The Gift of Time and the Power of Journey
Ken Primus opens the episode with gratitude—a reminder that our greatest commodities are time and the journey itself.
“Become a friend of time. Understand her. She is powerful. The Journey is a powerful creator.”
This mindfulness sets the stage, inviting listeners to treat each moment and experience with respect and curiosity. Ken’s voice is gentle and real—he’s not preaching, just sharing hard-won wisdom, aiming to make you feel welcome and part of a bigger conversation.
Defining Your Life’s Assignment: Loving Kindness
Steve is asked: “How do you serve mankind?” His answer is refreshingly honest and humble:
“The assignment is loving kindness. As we go through our lives…that loving kindness has to be inward first before we can go outwards.”
Steve’s journey (corporate, nonprofit, personal trials) taught him that worthiness is not earned, it’s inherent. When you start seeing yourself as worthy, letting go of things that don’t serve you becomes easier, and passing forward that sense of kindness transforms those around you.
Key Takeaway:
Start with inward loving kindness—knowing you’re worthy opens the door for everything else.
The Uniqueness Within: Why You Matter
Ken builds on Steve’s thoughts, highlighting just how unique each person is.
“If we weren’t so unique, there would be no industries based on identity—no fingerprinting, no facial recognition, no solving crimes…”
Our individuality, often taken for granted, has birthed entire fields of technology and security. Yet, many of us don’t spend enough time appreciating our own preciousness.
Why is this important?
Because knowing your uniqueness isn’t being egotistical—it’s the foundation for self-worth and the ability to serve others authentically.
Family Roots: Seeds of Habits and Value
Everyone starts somewhere. For Steve, family life in Charlotte and Asheville, North Carolina, alongside two brothers and vibrant parents, laid the groundwork for his habits, thinking, and communication.
Steve shares fond memories of freedom, playing outside, and a mother with the force of a “Sherman tank”—a presence and energy recognized by all.
Sibling Bond
Unlike many, Steve and his brothers remain close, sharing and supporting each other:
“Not many siblings are that route…not understanding the value of those phone calls about reminiscing and how it strengthens bonds.”
Family, in Steve’s experience, was not just about proximity but about cultivating values, self-assurance, and confidence—qualities critical for weathering the storms that would come later.
Stepping Into the World: Service, Courage, and Authenticity
As Steve reflects on interactions outside his home, he credits his parents for intentionally planting seeds of service and community:
“There was always a sense of service. Of ‘we’re here to be a part of this community.’”
Each sibling had distinct strengths. For Steve, it was “calling out” what was wrong as well as supporting others. His approach to leadership centers around authenticity—balancing encouragement with courageous feedback, and learning the hard lesson of “letting go,” often anchored in forgiveness.
The Three Pillars of Authentic Leadership
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Support Others: Build trust, listen, and hold people up.
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Challenge and Feedback: Courageously highlight when others are off-track.
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Letting Go: Requires inner journeying and forgiveness—hard to teach, essential to practice.
Letting Go is powerful, but hard
Steve notes,
“It’s not a discipline you can take a self-help course or read in a book…letting go comes from within.”
The journey from theory to reality begins here.
Chaos, Grief, and Change: Life’s Laboratory
Ken and Steve discuss the threads that run through our lives, often shaped from childhood, following into adulthood, and informing what kind of leaders and individuals we become.
When Steve reached adulthood—heading towards college and career—the journey was anything but smooth.
Academic Struggles & Discovery
School never came easily. Steve jokes about nearly failing high school and describes being expelled from college due to poor performance. Yet, these challenges turned into opportunities:
“I had to live a little bit and have some really interesting experiences…”
He returned, refocused, never looking back, and went on to earn a Master’s degree in business and organization development.
Lessons from the Setback
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Taking responsibility and accountability: Not blaming others or floating passively, but making plans and taking actionable steps.
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Discovery year: Working various jobs, hiking, traveling Europe with a friend—intentionally living, testing himself, gathering lessons.
Theory Meets Reality: From Knowing to Being
As life progressed, Steve and his brother worked in business consulting—helping organizations and leaders manage change. Here, he realized the emotional parallels between corporate upheaval and personal grief—a critical insight:
“The same feelings we experience in our workplace during change are what we go through during grief.”
This was more than theory. Consulting became a laboratory for exploring chaos, resilience, and adaptation.
“Life is Chaos and All is Well”
This phrase, also the title of Steve’s book, is built around two truths:
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Chaos is reality: Trauma, toxicity, failed relationships, business struggles.
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All is well: Joy can coexist with chaos.
The journey from head knowledge to internalization only happens through lived experience—through “going through the fire.”
Embracing Chaos: Surrender, Practice, and Resilience
Ken and Steve dig deeper into surrender—a truly difficult transition for driven, high-achieving people who feel compelled to always “do, fix, achieve, win.”
“We will do everything and anything…until there’s one point where we have done all we know and we are broken to the piece…”
It’s here, at breaking point, that surrender emerges as the most powerful act. Not giving up, but letting go—creating space for transformation.
The Paradox of Chaos
You can’t have growth or joy without chaos; by embracing it instead of fighting it, you make room for love, kindness, hope, and excitement.
“By letting go…then the opportunity, because we open ourselves up, when we’re letting go, we’re opening up. That’s when love and kindness comes in.”
Standout Quote:
“Life is chaos—and you know what? Tomorrow I’m going to experience some more. But how am I going to choose to respond?”
Daily Practices for Transformation
Steve admits he wasn’t always a believer in meditation and gratitude practices—often skeptical, seeing them as “new age stuff.” But experience taught him otherwise.
Three Core Practices
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Mindfulness: Breathing, being present, starting the day with calm.
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Journaling: Reflecting, processing, centering yourself through writing.
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Action: Not just theory—putting love into practice every day.
Meditation as a Game-Changer
Ken shares his story of transforming from chaos as a single dad and corporate leader through daily meditation—building a fortress of peace before stepping into the day’s challenges.
“Breath is the bridge between the natural and the supernatural.”
Through breathwork, everything outside slows down, clarity increases, and reactions become measured—a powerful, poetic image.
Gratitude, Love, and Letting Go
Gratitude is not just a practice; it’s a state changer. Steve and Ken agree it’s one of the most powerful ways to shift energy, replace anxiety, and open the door to positive change.
“Gratitude will assist you to change your state. When you change your state, you change your energy.”
Steve shares a simple yet profound hack: seek 24 expressions of gratitude in 24 hours. Small acts—a cup of coffee, a kind word, a compliment—reprogram not just your day, but your mindset.
Chaos “melts away” in the presence of real gratitude and love. It cannot “get its hooks” into someone who is truly centered in kindness and gratitude.
A Story of Healing: From Chaos to Dancing in Joy
Steve tells of Amanda—a friend whose life was scarred by trauma and abuse, carrying the weight like a heavy coat of chaos and pain. Through intentional practice, she let go; replaced her burden with a new lightness described as:
“A light, colorful, shimmering coat that she can dance in.”
Her trauma may still be a memory, but it no longer defines her. She defines herself. This is the heart of Steve’s message—the journey from chaos to joy is possible and repeatable.
Taking Action: Life Hacks From the Heart
Steve’s book, Life is Chaos and All is Well, culminates in actionable steps after each chapter:
Practical Life Hacks
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Mindfulness Hack: Breathing exercises, centering yourself each morning.
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Journaling Hack: Daily reflection prompts after meditation or at the end of the day.
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Action Hack: Commit to small acts of kindness and gratitude every day.
“Look for opportunities to put love into action every day.”
Intentional Living: Expecting, Receiving, and Growing
Ken encourages readers to approach books, learning, and experiences with intention—create a safe, comfortable space, bring your tea, relax, and expect answers.
“When you read the book, you’re having a one-on-one conversation with the author…”
Expectancy is power. Whether it’s love, gratitude, or wisdom—you receive what you focus on. Busyness and distraction rob us of these gifts.
Steve’s Message to the World
In a closing segment, Ken gives Steve the chance to speak to every human being on Earth—what would his message be?
“All the forces of the universe conspired to create you, and therefore you are worthy.”
Let that be your mantra. Meditate on it every morning, allow it to reshape your understanding of yourself. Worthiness is your birthright, not something you earn.
Conclusion
Life truly is chaos—sometimes wild, sometimes gentle, always unpredictable. Yet, amidst the storms, the secret Steve and Ken offer is simple: Embrace loving kindness, begin with yourself, build practices that center you, meet chaos with openness, and act on gratitude and love daily.
You are worthy.
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Practice mindfulness every day.
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Journal your thoughts and fears—release them.
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Be intentional. Expect answers. Look for opportunities to serve and grow.
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When chaos comes (as it always will), don’t let it define you—choose love, kindness, gratitude, and let your uniqueness shine through.
“Love is the only sustainable, true force…it can’t be defeated. Why not have that as your ally?”
Connect with Steve and Threads of Enlightenment
Want to learn more, dive deeper, or get Steve’s book? Follow these links:
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Steve’s Book: “Life is Chaos and All is Well” (link forthcoming)
Subscribe to Threads of Enlightenment on your favorite platform so you never miss a soul-nourishing episode!
Share Your Journey
If this resonated with you—share it with a friend, reflect in your own journal, or leave a comment below about your experiences dealing with chaos and reclaiming joy. Remember, every story shared becomes a thread in the tapestry of collective healing.
Stay Enlightened.
