Forgiving Others

Welcome to threads of enlightenment. Forgiving others. Forgiveness is one of the principles of personal growth, Thank you so much for joining me to continue our conversation about the process of, personal growth and to learn how to become the masters of ourselves.

In the last blog I spoke about Unchecked emotions. The reason why I use that title for a chapter was because, we have a tendency of not truly being aware of what emotions are in the sense of how they causes us to be controlled by what I call states. States are were we make decisions that causes much harm and pain. Unchecked emotions will lead us to enter into a state of hatefulness. And it has caused us to become, stuck in states that are harmful to our spirit, soul and bodies.

I want to focus a little about forgiving, forgiveness or forgiving others. In chapter four in my book, “Threads of Enlightenment” I discuss this in-debt. I look at it more like a manual for you to take a look at and identify where you’re located what state are you currently live, in what state you’re in mentally, spiritually, and physically reside at the moment so that you can make the decision to move forward and hopefully it can guide you to the places that you need to go in order that you would become a mature human spirit.

It is very important that we learn these principles because, each one of these take us to another level of our development. “Learn to let go,It is the beginning of your beginnings”. It is entirely our responsibility, to desire our deliverance from pain and the same old same old we have to take responsibility after someone has committed erroneous actions against us. We have to come to a place where we take, the responsibility for our lives to put it back in order to, to now recreate something new, something stronger, something wiser, something, not as weak and defeated.

The principle of forgiving others takes away their power, that they have over us for so long. I suggest that if you have kids you need to grab that book because, it has some wonderful, nuggets in there for us. He talks about how forgiveness is essential for growth and healing, and that is why we need to forgive. Forgiveness is essential for our growth and for our healing, we have to take back our authority, our power from those that stripped it away from us through, whatever hateful behavior, whatever they’ve done to us.

Many of you have gone through horrific situations in your life. I know my rejection came from family, from my parents. And so I had to learn how to push through that. I’d mentioned briefly that, as a young adult in college. The memory of that pain will come and I would cry as a, as a young man I would find a place to hide and to go through that emotional pain and to begin to figure out a way how to, manage it. We must remember and realized that it is our responsibility to what is necessary to change. “Change is not change until you’ve changed” ,

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Unchecked Emotions

Welcome to threads of enlightenment. Unchecked emotions. All of us a have suffered some type of trauma that has caused us to act and live a certain way. As a young boy, who grew up in Guyana I had an incident in my life that caused much pain and much hurt. As a result I made decisions from that state that govern my entire life and relationships, decisions that was not good for my life in any fashion but self preservation. I was simply holding it together, until the memory of day would come rushing into the forefront of my mind at that point everything would fall apart. This is not an uncommon thing, many of you have the same experience as I, the only difference was the situation that caused you the pain.

I know this is one of thing, as human beings we have to deal with all of these emotions, we refers to these as our demons and in some ways that’s absolute what those Unchecked Emotions are. In my case my demons would appear to me suddenly while I was in college. The memories for some reason kept coming frequently. Looking back I can clearly see that it was my time to deal with or face my demons.


I was being forced to deal with the hopelessness, the shame, the pain, the feeling of loneliness, the hate, the unforgiveness all because of a decision someone had made to treat me as a child, as a grown man, my memories of that incident would send me in a panic and I would look for an area to hide,somewhere, anywhere so that can find a way to try to deal with this overwhelming emotions. I would just cry and cry and cry because it was so overpowering.

If our emotions go unchecked it becomes very powerful and dangerous in some case people take their own life as a result. It is very, very serious, and necessary to face your demons and learn how to conquer them all first for your sake, your families and friends. If do not take this serious we are not going to be able to pursue any type of peace and happiness. Let me be very clear it is a tremendous battle to fight and claim your own identity once you’ve being damage. It’s a battle for your survival as an individual for your spirit, your soul, which consist of your mind and your emotions, to heal in order to deal with your situation. And so many of us have not dealt with it, and we have brought husbands, wives and children. We bring them into our situation and we respond to them through our pain and hurt, as a result we damage our mate and children and continue that process in our families from generation to generation

Anger was one of my demons that I had to deal with as an individual, and I had to learn how to master it. I had to develop a strategy to learn how to exercise them out of my life so that I can become more effective as human spirits, so that I can continue to grow and become who I was originally intended to become by the creator. I love reading Buddha’s little instruction by Jack Cornfield to my children when they were little kids, as much as it was for them I was learning along with them. He makes a statement that has help both my children and I “the spirit of man is like a garden. It can grow love, it can grow a bitterness, fear or faith. What seeds will you plant there?” What our parents or whoever caused us that trauma at some point we must decide that in order to move on ,we have to deal with that issues. We must begin to plant seeds that we want into our garden so that they may bear fruit that we want.

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Solitude

Welcome to threads of enlightenment. Solitude. When I say the word solitude, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? A lot of people, first thought is a cabin in the woods, others being on a mountain somewhere unreachable, other in a tent camping, others by water on a beach somewhere. But solitude is more importantly about communing with yourself, searching the inner most parts of your, spirit and soul. I would like to introduce you to one of the great mysteries that, is available to everyone of us, but most people are totally afraid to start practicing the art of meditation. People all around us move and operate using mediation. People like martial artists, athletes, yoga practitioners, yogi, and of course the sages of old Personally, I’ve been doing meditation for over 20 years. I remember when I first started how confusing it was for me, but I’ve learn to love my solitude time. I love the fact that I have learned to enjoy my time. It’s a place of much self infliction and reflection, looking at myself, looking hard, and being honest at some of the dark places that are in me, the dark things, the dark places I’m talking about are my attitudes, my behavior, some of the habits, those dark habits that you and I have, practice for so many years.

In our Western culture, a lot of people are afraid of being alone or meditating, they really are, some people can’t seem to disconnect from their phones, TVs, or even from people as well. You know the type, they have to be around people all the time. Most of them are afraid of being by himself and they don’t understand that, that’s the place where you obtain your victory, that’s where you become a better listener, lots of people don’t understand that meditation helps to learn to listen, especially listening to inner self.

Listening to that spirit man that has been inundated with false information withing you caused by circumstances of life, circumstances at work, our relationships with loves ones, friends , your TV, your phone that you carry with you now that it gives you access to everything such as social media and you can go on and on and on. They’re studies now that shows that people are mentally, psychologically, and emotionally all of these things we are getting hooked on. It is the new drugs, the new high, and people go through serious withdrawals, If you take their phones away from them, they will lose their minds.

In some cases who knows, they would probably harm to you. Today, one of the things that parents will do to punish a kid or a child, is to take their phones away and you could see how depressed they get, and begin to start behaving outlandish.

We need solitude to learn, it is the missing ingredient, we need to learn to include meditation in our quiver in order for us to begin our journey to become better individual, a stronger person one that you’re proud of. You need to understand how special you are, how you’re one of kind on this planet. I keep telling people that when I started my journey, I had to learn how special I was. I’d walk around and, and tell people that I am one of a kind, I am an endangered species, and I’m an endangered species, I became mindful of how I allowed people to speak to me, how I allowed , um, friends , families , uh, everyone, my boss, how I allow people to engage with me, I became a guardian because I didn’t want them to damage my soul and spirit. I understood that they can cause me much pain in whatever form that comes emotional, physical, or whatever. So as you begin to learn the value of who you are, as we take this journey, at threads of enlightenment, the process, in which one becomes a better human spirit.

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Self Love

Welcome to threads of enlightenment. Self love. We’re going to look at what I call the first aspect or the first space that, you and as individuals need to visit in order to begin our journey to self development. How many of people have lives their life and have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, had taken the responsibility of self development seriously enough for a chance to truly learn to ever love themselves to begin their journey, and it is a wonderful journey.
It is my hope that each and every one of you that, visit this site and listen to the podcast would endeavor to start that type of journey where you get a chance to find out who you are. A good friend and I went to see the Dalai Lama, several years ago. They had a question and answer time at the event and someone stood up and asks him, “what is the key to life”. I believe he gave one of the most thoughtful answer I’ve ever heard in my entire life. He said , I don’t know. He then said, the question that you need to ask yourself is “what’s the key to your life”. Such a more profound, question that you and I need to know the answer to. He went on to say that we have to find that out ourselves. That’s an individual journey and , you need to take that journey and find out. My desire is that as we get together and spend time, reading and listening and growing that we would begin to start that journey to find out who we are.
It doesn’t matter what religion or belief system you’re a part of, if you’re interested in personal growth I believe that you must visit each and every state mention in the book that I co-author with Redhe Schiff. Those states are the chapters of the book, such as Self love, Unchecked Emotions, Forgiving Others just to name a few.
We’re going to take a look at each and every one of them, and globally also we would look and bring in insights from other teachers that are a part of the self-help, self development, personal growth industry. I am one that love to recommend books and read books. I look at reading a book as my private meeting with that author. Reading is my time to understand what they went through and the wisdom they gained through their situations. Reading and listening to the author is our chance to take our responsibility to get wisdom and understanding and use it to free ourselves for our situations. As we dig into self-help who get a chance to expose some things about ourselves that we’ve accepted into our souls and now have become part of our believe system.
And the belief system is a gift that is given to every single human being everyone. The process is simply the ability to take in information and that a information lodges into our soul, and migrates into our spirit, and body, and it becomes a part of our lifestyle that we act on that belief day after day, month after month, year after year. I mentioned to you, before that it all started with words spoken by someone that you allowed in by allowing a thought to bear fruit. Jesus said to his disciples, take no thoughts saying, and that principle is, once someone says something to you, that you would take this thought into your being, you would then accept it, then confess it, and then you would act on that confession and then it manifests and bear fruit.
People, you’re going to have to learn, when someone says something that is out of line with your belief system and character, that would naturally get you upset, don’t let it, take a breath and respond out of a different space other than anger and, verbally abuse that person. My goal is that we would learn to guard your thoughts. So how do you find self-love? this is how you find self-love “you dig, you isolate and you ache, you ate from being lonely, you heal, you accept, you, look in the mirror and see God” that is self-love and self-love is simply a journey.
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Principles of Self Development

My goal is that we would walk in the principles of self-development that we would look to no other, but ourselves to help us to grow and change our life in this current time that we have with, the pandemic and all the uncertainties that are out there in the world today, we need to look to ourselves to gain answers to better our self development.

It’s our responsibility from the time we’re born until the time we die to first develop ourselves. Most of us are trapped due to whatever information was deposited in us, by our grandparents, parents, teachers, friends, your college, professors, the church, society as a whole all of these entities would have some type of input and or influences on your development. Based on the type of input that each of these groups deposited into you, your belief system would be formed and set to live a certain way. It becomes our responsibility to navigate through all of these to find out who we truly are. The REAL YOU.

Things that people said to us as we were growing up, and we’re coming into to our own, as they say, our parents, and grandparents, the ones that are closest to us, that have the most influence upon us. They deposit their belief into us and in most cases their lack of understanding of who they are and how they play a part in our soul development. Most of our family members have their demons to deal with, none of them never really learned how to conquer or rise above the family curses. The bible calls it the “Sins of the Father”. Many of them usually say things from a place of ignorance, words that does and definitely will hurt you and cause you much pain and cause your emotions such as pain and hurt to lead you into a state of, depression, resentment and even hate.

From these states we believe and live from a place of low self esteem. Usually we tend to internalize all the words that our parents, grandparents etc. These are just some of things that they say to us, “you will grow up to be nothing”, you are not smart, you’re an idiot, you’re so dumb, or stupid. Some of us are lucky to have parents that tell us that we can do anything, we can be a CEO, Doctor, they tell us that we can do anything we put our minds to which we can. Once we believe this we usually achieve it because that’s how the soul and human spirit was designed to work. There’s a scripture in the Bible that says “that all things are possible to the believing man”. So then the onus and the responsibility is on us and what we do with that belief system.

And that is the key to how our personal growth is developed through our belief system, what was and have been deposited in that belief system, whether as I mentioned, our parents, teachers or society, whatever was deposited either positive or negative in that belief system will then manifest. This process starts from your thoughts, your thoughts becomes ,your speech and whatever you begin to confess, will become things that you will believe. And then once you believe it, then you begin to act on it and it bears fruit.

My intention is that we can learn to lean on each other, and guide each other with, the wisdom , insights and understanding that you have gained in your life, and the same that I’ve gained in mine and that we can encourage each other at this crucial time in our society. As humans we tend to begin our journey of self development while going through something dramatic.

I was about 35 years old when I went through my divorce . And one of the things that I learned in that journey was that, I had to learn to embrace the darkness. “Embrace the moment of darkness because it is in the darkness that we learn to develop and use our ability to truly see those parts of ourselves often invisible to us in the light” There’s a lot that is packed into that,many years of pain, produced that revelation.

Join me at my podcast where we go deeper into the principles of self development.